If you know what I mean.

Almost absolutely every sentence in the english language can have a dual sexual meaning if you add the phrase “if you know what I mean” to it.  Observe:  “Grandma went to get a loaf of bread…if you know what I mean.”  Said Grandma has now been transformed from simply a hungry old lady to a sexual deviant.  Another case:  “Little Johnny’s been crippled…if you know what I mean.”  Here, poor Johnny is already suffering from a debilitating ailment.  Now I’ve made it sound like he’s not performing well in bed.  See what I mean?  “Let’s go to the circus…if you know what I mean.”  “Check the oven to see if the cookies are done…if you know what I mean.”  “JFK was shot…if you know what I mean.”  As you can see, this phrase immediately makes the preceding phrase a double entendre.  Use at your own risk…if you know what I mean.
   It’s very strange the way the mind can tether certain things to your moods, through the slightest of things.  You may not understand what I’m talking about, so like I find myself saying many times in these blogs, let me explain.  When I found out that my old dog had to get put to sleep, in the background of that cramped living room on 932 Governors Bvld., there was an episode of The Andy Griffith Show running.  Don Knotts was being Don Knotts, kicking over chairs and hamming it up, and suddenly I had misdirected my confusion and anger over my dog to the Andy Griffith Show.  To this day, I can’t watch an episode without becoming a little mopey.  That feeling will stay with me for a long time, I think and there’s not much I can do to control it.
   I think to everyone who even remotely knows basketball, it’s obvious the San Antonio Spurs are destined to win another title.  They’re just too powerful, and LeBron hasn’t fully matured into a player that can be depended on.  Sure he had a great Game 5 last series, but that’s the kind of stuff Nash, Kobe, and Duncan do routinely.  Dan Tedlund and I agree that the season was over, the winner decided, when Stern decided to suspend Stoudamire for a game.  The Spurs finished off the Suns, and from that point on nothing could touch them.  Not even Lance’s Jazz.  So as much as I hate them, kudos to the Spurs for solidifying their dynasty in NBA history.Cheers.

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